Your Big Why Story

Your "Big Why" Story:

Work with Me Live and Let's Get Yours Discovered!

If you've seen Simon Sinek's TED Talk, you know how crucial it is to start from your "why" and not the "what" of what you do. But for a lot of people, unearthing the core elements of their "Big Why" isn't the easiest thing to discover. In my years of listening to speeches I've heard many stories shared that are somewhat interesting but not compelling to the audience. I've also seen what a difference it makes when someone digs deeper than they realized and finds elements they had long-ago forgotten or minimized. I've witnessed discoveries so deep they evoke tears.

I don't want you to remain stuck!!! I know you have more to offer!

So I am holding a special teleseminar to help take you through those next steps. To help you dig deeper and perhaps hit on some realizations you haven't previously connected. We'll take the Illumination Guide and walk through it for added depth and clarity. There'll even be time for some questions to unleash what may be holding you back.

Here's an opportunity you can take to go deeper, to find the unique elements of the story of your "Big Why" that will help you resonate with others more powerfully.

Many people look for their Big Why in some event that took place in their adult life, whether it's the field they studied in college, what happened after a divorce or career change, etc. By doing so, it makes the Big Why sound like a response to a circumstance. People who didn't share that same kind of circumstance have a harder time relating.

What if you discovered the deeper why, the earlier piece that may have created the larger issue within your life? The earlier encounter with an issue is closer to a more global eperience that will be shared by som many more people. And when you share it with others, it will resonate more deeply with them and connect you more fully. They'll get how you have something special to offer them.

How can you get there? Discover the deeper "Big Why?"

You've gotten my Big Why Illumination Guide. Maybe you've filled it out, maybe you've put it on hold. If you did some of the digging it inspired, maybe you still felt stuck at some fork, wondering what the larger issue is, or where it came to mean so much to you in your growth as a person.

There's a benefit to both you and to your potential ideal clients when you reach the richer source of your story, your "Big Why." For you, there is an ease in realizing a greater purpose you have, as well as a more natural way of connecting with the people most in need of what you can offer. For your audiences, whether we're talking about live audiences at a speech, written material on your website or blog, videos etc., it helps them feel a greater connection with you at a gut level.

This creates a more organic way of getting people to realize you have something important and valuable to offer them. And it gives them a greater sense of security about becoming your clients.

Without that, you and your work get perceived as just one of many in the same field, leaving people wondering why they should work with you. You and what you offer get categorized as more of a commodity, so people look for who offers it cheapest etc.

Without your own full understanding of your "Big Why" you also lose out on a rich awareness that can build your own fulfillment and satisfaction in what you do.

I know this is long but please stay with me. I want you to understand how valuable it can be from my own experience.

What finding and sharing my "Big Why" story did for me:

I fought this same battle when I was starting my business. I was trying all the "processes" and "procedures" to build a list, get known, create programs etc. The problem was that I was copying what I saw or heard was working for others. I had a business coach who said the road to success was to do precisely what she had done. But I was flopping. I felt like a fraud. And if someone asked me why they should work with me as opposed to another business/speaking coach I stammered and tried to "logic" out an answer.

I hadn't started with my own "Big Why." I was offering things based on my experience as a director, my understanding of how to command a stage and craft moments, adding in things I learned about selling from the stage and having a call to action. Blah stuff. The same kind of stuff you could probably find from tons of other coaches out there.

I was coming from a place of "I want to help people." Sounds good, but isn't that what a lot of people who work with others are trying to do? That "wanting to help" wasn't enough. It wasn't until I was told I needed to find my deeper "Why" that I started to realize what I was offering wasn't what would make people want to work with me. I had to dig for what it was about me that was screaming to get out. And when I would find it and let it out, the kind of thing that would connect with others at a very core level. Something akin to a feeling, an experience, a need they themselves had experienced.

I dug and I found it, an early childhood fear of standing out from the crowd; a feeling that if I got noticed I would be embarrassed, scorned or ridiculed. Which led to a life of not taking chances, of staying in "safe" boundaries. And every so often that would lead to a childhood trauma. I uncovered one I'd buried so deeply I hadn't thought much about it for over 40 years -- an episode in grammar school where I had to go to the bathroom during a spelling bee that was running very long. Somehow, raising my hand to interrupt the spelling bee was so scary (after all I would be calling attention to myself) that I tried to fight the call of nature and hold off. As it got more and more urgent the fear grew as well so it got even scarier to raise my hand as well. And given the choice of asking to be excused or somehow imagining I could concoct an excuse for a puddle of water below my desk, I let nature take its course. The embarrassment was everything you could imagine. And making it worse, I couldn't imagine telling anyone about it, confiding in them, crying to them. Not my mother. Certainly not my father. Not brothers. Friends? Most of them were in the classroom that day and I couldn't even look at them for a long time. It was a story I had buried deep inside. Built walls around it. Never shared with anyone.

Soon after remembering this episode and its impact I was set for a big speaking event in New York City. Big stakes, as I'd paid well into the four figures for the time on stage. As I was preparing my speech it became clear to me that many people who'd be in the audience had some sort of fear of public speaking and for many of them it may have come from the same fear of standing out and being seen. So my story HAD to be part of it. And I couldn't short-cut it, or sugar-coat it. I had to be willing to share every detail. Yes, the story I had told no one else, ever, not even the closest people to me, I had to acknowledge it and share it in a room filled with a blend of strangers who didn't know me from Adam as well as a bunch of colleagues with whom I'd been working and trying to build their respect for me (after all I had to be "perfect" if I expected them to become clients or make referrals for me).

As I got to the part of the speech where I was going to share this experience I remember feeling one final pull from somewhere deep inside to "just shut up!" The story was supposed to stay hidden away. Fortunately I took the other path, the one to stand out. I gulped and jumped off the high diving board, right into the meat of the story. I stayed with it until the climactic moment of peeing my pants and how it had haunted me into a silent prison for so many years.

As the speech wrapped up, I wasn't sure what the response would be. I was offering a program to work with me and as soon as I was done I saw a rush of people to the table in the back, with their order forms filled out. In a room of about 110 people, where about 40 were staff, coaches and other people who weren't considered "buyers" I got 34 people to sign up for the program I offered. I was blown away, as was my coach.

I also had conversations with people, including a couple of people who told me they'd experienced the same thing as children and had thought they were the only ones.

The icing on the cake from sharing my story was that it was "out." I had no need for the walls hiding it any more. It had lost its power over me, of keeping me small and scared. And I found it so much easier to share it afterward because I understood the value of sharing it. I even included it in the first book I wrote which meant that anyone could find out. Now that people knew, the story couldn't hurt me.

I was healthier and I had my first big bump of clients. Not a bad place to be. But then....

I forgot to apply what I learned.

I was getting clients and working with them, some of them quite successfully. I was getting good testimonials and many people were grateful to me for what changed. But I was teaching them a lot of the formulas I had picked up along the way. Things other business coaches had been sharing. Yes there was some work on finding a compelling story but I forgot to challenge my own clients to uncover their own Big Why story. So even though I had people working with me, their results were uneven, some drifted away, and I was losing steam.

A couple of years later, while getting ready to run a booth at a trade show, I decided to ask questions of the visitors rather than focus on gathering business cards to grow my list as my coach had trained me. I developed a series of questions meant to help people understand what might be the missing link between them and their potential ideal clients. Plus I offered them a chance for an on-the-spot consultation to see what I could help them clarify.

The one thing I pledged to myself was to stay open to whatever questions instinctively came up for me. I didn't want to "logic" this out. For so many people, I could immediately sense that they didn't know their "Big Why" story. And I asked them questions that delved into what they had experienced, old memories they might have forgotten, things that were said to them they might have repressed. Over the course of the three days, I was blown away by how many people were in tears when they got to a realization of the source of a lifelong issue or struggle.

I used what I learned in those three days and worked with my private clients to help them achieve that same discovery. They told me all sorts of benefits (personal and business) when they found their inner story. I also created a workshop to work live with small groups of people, to guide them and create a space where they could not only learn for themselves but learn from others' explorations too.

It was working. Big time. Here are some of the results I heard and read:

"I wanted to tell you this was very valuable. I will go back and fill out more in the questions, but mostly I will really give some thought to the whole idea of talents being crushed, squashed, not recognized, not mentored, not encouraged.

OMG the core issue of my entire work life!!!!! It's as though they forced themselves out in spite of whatever was happening against them. That's the pain that made me cry. That's the pain that I most want to heal and help others heal.

My first Speak Out, Girlfriend Signature talk was a smash hit and one of the things that was better than ever was telling my story in the "How do I know this" part. I wasn't selling, but wanted to get names for my list. I referenced the "squashed talent" theme, and told the story of the casting person for the ninth grade play who said I was perfect for the shy, quite, unattractive best friend! 15 of the 17 women attending signed up for my free offer and 2 asked for my card because they want to work with me!

So I got benefit immediately, and I know there's more to come!"

~ Terry Nicholetti, www.speakoutgirlfriend.com

I ran several of these workshops, usually with small groups of four or five people. Going in, I again pledged that I would stay instinctive, not follow a set series of questions as I probed to help people dig deeper than they might realize. The results kept surprising, kept repeating and people appreciated what they discovered. All seemed right and then...

I made another mistake!

I got away from running the group program live with small groups. I tried to leverage the program as many business coaches seem to suggest for growth, make it an evergreen recording that people could listen to and hear what others had explored and then apply things for themselves. They could upgrade for some private time with me, but people who didn't do that weren't getting my questions digging deeper with them. So I wasn't hearing about great results anymore.

Again, I fell into the trap of buying into what worked for others -- after all they were recommending to sell recordings so you could leverage what had worked.

But that's not how I wanted to work with people and that's not how I wanted to leave them -- if they listened or didn't, if they did the work or didn't, if they got results or didn't, hey at least I'd made the sale and the rest was on them. Not the way I wanted to be.

I just saw a statistic contained in an email from DirectPay that explained a reason why it wan't working. Of people who buy information products, only 3% ever actually complete the programs! That means 97% of us don't get the benefit were were hoping for when we purchased a program that way.

I don't know why that surprised me. Over the years I have spent hundreds of dollars on various recordings of seminars with the promise to myself that I'd listen to them "sometime." Well, for virtually every last one of the, "sometime" never came and they are just stored somewhere on my computer or lost altogether. A shame. And a lesson I should have learned in how to offer my work to you.

So the LIVE Group "Big Why" Story Discovery Workshop is now back!

"If you are looking to clarify or create your compelling story, John's process works! Definitely worth the investment!"

~ Jacqueline Kaczynski Birnbaum

Saturday, September 17, 2016 starting at noon EDT. You and a small group of people will join me for a very small, interactive and transformational time together. You'll get my personal help. And I don't mean finding something that applies to you out of a bunch of things being said to a group in general. Every person on the call is guaranteed one-on-one focused time with me.

What this program is:

A one-day guided process that shows you where to look for your compelling story in a step-by-step process and then helps you explore it further and find hidden nuggets.
Your own dedicated "hotseat" time where we explore what you've discovered on your own and then challenge you to find things deeper.
An opportunity for you to find out crucial keys that will change how you communicate the importance of what you do when making presentations, writing your website copy, newsletters, blog etc.
A better understanding of why your story matters so much if you want to grow your business.

What this program isn't:

It isn't yet another training session where you listen to recordings and take notes for "later"
It isn't something that leaves you guessing to figure it out on your own
It isn't long nor drags on for weeks where momentum fades and you never finish
It isn't a large investment for the value you get for your business.

I want you on the call so I am pricing it right now at just $7. Yes, there's not a second digit missing, just SEVEN dollars.

In this 60-minute call, you'll get guidance on:

where to dig for that initial circumstance that created ripples in your life
defining how you help people in a more encompassing way
elaborating on the straw that broke the camel's back and led you to seek change
what sharing your "Big Why" story can do for others and for your own success

I'll leave an added 60 minutes of time afterward to field questions and lead you to important answers. Plus the call will remain available for replay so you can go back and refer to something you might have missed or overlooked the first time.

The teleseminar takes place Friday, April 24th, starting at noon Eastern Time

(11:00 am Central, 10:00 am Mountain, 9:00 am Pacific). If you can't make it live, the replay is there for when it's convenient for you -- but I advise being live if you'd like to ask questions I will also field questions emailed me in advance).

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Is it worth $7? That's less than the cost of just two lattés at Starbucks! Your Big Why story means a ton to your business and how you connect with more people. Here are a couple of examples of people who've worked with me on their stories and the difference it made:

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Your "Big Why" Story:

Work with Me Live and Let's Get Yours Discovered!

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